I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she peed on how many people?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
