Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
