I think i peed on brittanys purse
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
