Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
