I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
