Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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