I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
