I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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