i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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