I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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