Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I need a burrito and a hug.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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