Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that's an acceptable place to lick
My cat gives me a boner
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
