Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
