Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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