im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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