Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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