I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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