Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
