I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
