thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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