...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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