watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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