Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
