Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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