Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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