anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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