i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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