Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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