I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
