there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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