is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
