Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
