I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
A bitchslap is in order.
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