Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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