when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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