I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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