There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
