Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
