You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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