just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
