Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
