Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
