smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
