ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
