Everything about him screamed your future.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you inspire me to be a worse person
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
