For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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