READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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