im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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