Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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