I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
