did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
