she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
