All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize